Mediation Basics – What Is Mediation And How It Works

Mediation is one of the best ways to come to a mutually agreed solution in case of divorce. A family attorney is hired from both sides and a neutral party is present in between that foresees and resolves the issues. Here are a few of the basic tips required for divorce mediation.

Agreeing To Mediate

Agreeing to discuss a problem is the first thing that you and your spouse should do. Communication is the key to problem-solving. Both parties hire the best divorce lawyers they can find and a mediator that sees through that the terms and conditions for child custody, child support and spousal support are mutually agreed upon. It can only be achieved if you say yes to the mediating for your divorce.

Mediation is cheaper than a trial and the sessions are strictly confidential unlike in a court. Mediation is confined to your living room with your lawyers and your spouse. Almost 90% of the mediation processes end up in a mutual agreement and settlement upon the problems that were previously impossible to solve.

Gathering All the Relevant Information

The mediation should gather the relevant information and listen to the problems of both of the parties.  It is important that the spouses tell the facts that can help them with their case. Mediator’s job is to ensure the goodwill between both parties and gathering their information. If someone fails to provide information or the fact is somewhat in dispute then the mediator shall ask for evidence. If the evidence is failed to be given then the mediator will find ways to try and get that information.

The first thing to be discussed is the legal issues like insurance policies, property distribution and child custody. Basically, all the necessary information is gathered in front of your family attorney for the mediator to use and come up with a solution. This is usually done within the first or second session.

Finding Similar Interests

The next stage is called the framing stage and here the mediator tries to convince a person about their spouse’s concerns and interests. The awareness of concerns, goals and priorities are established. There may be times when both of the parties’s interests will be similar and that’s where a mediator will see an opportunity of striking an agreement between both of them.

Not only that, the main area of focus is around the individual needs and interests that should be compromised by both parties. This session is mostly taken separately so that there are no arguments, debates and negativity in the environment.


The negotiations are then made with both of the parties in front of their divorce lawyers that they have hired. With all the information of spouses and their needs and interests within the mediator’s disposal, it is fairly easy for them to come up with a settlement that is suitable for both parties. There will be some backlash from the spouses and there will be some negotiations on the settlements. This goes on for quite a while but in the end the needs and requirements are narrowed down to meet an agreement from both parties and their divorce lawyers. Make sure that the settlement is fair and there should be no loss of one spouse while the other is gaining from it.

Final Stage

When the settlement is agreed upon, it is time for paperwork. The written statement consists of the essential points of the settlement that both of you agreed upon. This document is sent to both parties to have reviewed with their divorce lawyers. Once the reviewing and changes are done, the document is signed and filed into court for an official divorce.

These were the basics of divorce mediation. There are many advantages of mediation like it is fair because of the third party who has nothing to gain or lose. Not only that, the time and money are saved in comparison to actually going to court for divorce.

A mutually agreed-upon settlement in front of the best divorce lawyers Fairfax VA by a mediator has proven to be very fruitful in divorce proceedings. It has low risks and spouse seeking divorce should definitely hire a mediator to settle their arguments.


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